Electric Tangerine

I'm 17, but I still feel like I'm 16, and all my friends are 18, and 19, with the exception of BFG who is my age. I'm a junior in ...

Deep within a chest of stone, How lies a heart of gold? To beat the pulsing blood throughout, The cold and dreary bone. There be no veins, No vessels there, ...

Ok I'm still kinda confused. Why can't you have part of a poem rhyme and not all? Just 'cause it's not professionally or often done? I understand that you feel ...

Hmm... that's rather bleak... :? Well, I tend to get caught up in my writing (especially when I type it -go figure-) and so that explains the capitalization issues, *runs ...

-EDIT- The cries of gulls crash hard against the voices of the doomed, And in my skiff I'm forced to duck, as the wind attacks the boom. The unbridgeable expanse ...

see, that's the part I can't might just be that I'm not used to it so i think it's weird. Personally: I don't like it. But in general, I don't ...

Your first stanza is amazing! I like how it's not "I'm tangled in the net of life" which I'm afraid would be terribly overused and abused if the emo kids ...

okies, sorry bout that.

if this is in the wrong spot, I'll delete it. Ok so I was using Myspace as a blog to post all my poetry on. A few weeks ago I ...

Well this sounds right up my alley! :D I love your first stanza! I'm not really sure why, but the words "Ear canal" really bothered me. It was too real, ...

interesting. I get a vivid image of suburbia in like Texas maybe? or Florida, somewhere really hot. I agree that you should lengthen it and add more descriptions. Keep it ...

-Uber Edit- She’s suspended, forever floating and though her friends are ever gloating, she’s resigned to wait, hovering above the ground. She waits alone and patient, but time has worn ...

I think I came off sounding wrong...I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be overly critical. I do really like it, I was merely offering suggestions that even if you choose ...

Many thanks. I like the idea of shattering, and it's even more of the image I was going for originally. So the meaning of this poem: I'm not a hundred ...

thanks guys..."electric tangerine" actually came from one of my poems...I'll put it up eventually.